Pickle, Rainbowzz, Perna and others:
This looks like a very fruitful discussion. Maybe I can add something to it. There are three related skills mentioned in my Chapter 13:
Assertiveness Response (
http://www.psychologicalselfhelp.org...chap13_17.html),
"I Messages"
(
http://www.psychologicalselfhelp.org...chap13_26.html),
Expressing Anger Constructively
(
http://www.psychologicalselfhelp.org...chap13_33.html)
I know there is a lot here and you may need practice before using the skills comfortably. But give them a trial.
drclay