Rostar: Good day. I can commiserate with you. Don't be harsh on yourself. Some puzzles, math and the other disciplines like science and engineering require a particular type of critical thinking. It is not unusual for anyone to struggle in these subjects. It doesn't mean you lack intelligence it just means your strengths lie elsewhere. Think on the things that bring you enjoyment and some peace of mind. Think on the things you are good at. Think on the things you have accomplished. Think on the things that draw your attention. Don't let the world or society tell you what you must excel at. Simply because person A is good at math does not mean you have too as well. Person B may be terrified of science but excels at creative writing. You have a muse and it is just a matter of finding it. Don't let others dictate to you. The internet is a vast warehouse of information. Write down all the things you wish to learn more about and search, search, search. You will be pleasantly surprised to find there are many, many more people in the world that are like you. You may be able to narrow your interests down to a particular subject wherein you can get specific training instead of spending four years at a college taking courses that have no bearing on your strengths. Heck, you may be able to walk into a business and they hire you on the spot because you have a passion for that line of work. Many people have turned their hobbies into successful businesses. Some join with like minded individuals and build a network with common ground. The world and society expect us to be at a certain level financially and educationally so when we are not there we tend to accuse ourselves of being lazy or stupid. We can't beholden ourselves to the world. Besides, if you were lazy why would you take the time to post on this site seeking help? You must be intelligent or how would you know where to seek help? As for being stupid; no one is stupid! Keep a stiff upper lip and go out and conquer the world. Regards, M. Poirot