How someone else thinks of and expresses themselves is really not my problem? I have to attend to my own knitting and how I think of Me and what I am doing. So, people who are into self-loathing are not that interesting to me as they don't connect in any way with what I am doing and we are all looking for connection of some kind. I know several women who mostly complain about what is happening in their lives, don't try to fix it, might agree with all you say as to what their problems are but never actually do anything to change. I find that boring after awhile as there's nothing in it for me Constantly telling someone, "Oh, no, you are fine!" doesn't help either party?

As far as being "real", I am sure there are people who do not like themselves and who do not know how to live any other way, how to learn to like themselves and move on, etc. Lots of people look outside themselves to solve "self" problems (self-esteem, self-awareness, self-knowledge (not the same as awareness), self-loathing, etc.) and I believe you can't get anywhere that way, it's the wrong direction to look.