I feel I am caught in an awkward situation and unsure on how best to deal with it.

First a bit of reason why I seek advice and back story:

I have Aspergers (recently diagnosed) and I guess I am now relenting to the gaping fact that I struggle with understanding others very well... as such I second guess myself continuously and worry if I'm doing/saying the right thing.

From October to the 21st of December I was in hospital and while dealing with my own crap, a woman (for what it matters, 15 years my senior) kind of latched onto me for emotional support... She had been sectioned (I was informal) and as such was furious and saw the staff as the enemy.... so the only person she would speak to was me.

Obviously I found this hard at times (I'll leave that to the imagination, suffice to say it would be triggering stuff)... I saw her as a friend, but the support and shoulder to lean on was very one sided (I'm at fault for this... I fight other peoples battles but I never expect others to support me... I'm very quiet when it comes to my own emotions) and I just wasn't in the right state of mind to be shouldering two peoples burdens.

The staff on the ward became concerned (I found this out later) and she was moved to another ward... we had each others number and the night after she called me to say she was making a sui attempt, I alerted the staff who contacted the other ward.

I continued giving support up to the point of my mother and wife (who I was very honest with and know me well enough to know I hold no romantic attachment (to be fair I struggle with the concept)) suggesting that I break contact to give myself a well needed break.. I did so for 2 weeks... I found it very hard and was constantly worrying if she'd do something stupid as a result (she has been known to send manipulative texts insinuating self harm due to neglect).

Here in lies the problem... her family have turned their backs on her or are very inconsistent in communication (she has 12 children) and her only friend before admission told her she no longer wished to stay in contact.

Now, I'm not stupid... I know that my own health comes first and that were she to do something, it would be her own issues that guided her hand... but I do worry about her and I (and my wife agrees) believe the 'friendship' relationship we've built up could be long lasting.

With that said, my wife is getting worried that the 'manipulation' and possessiveness that comes across in the texts are becoming a concern... as I've said, she has no fear of me cheating on her... hell, if an advance was made, I'd run a mile in fright not knowing what to do and she'd be the first to know about it (something that has been tried and tested, heh)... how my wife and I ever got together is a funny and weird tale within itself.

She is worried about my mental state though and believes that the level of support I am giving is above and beyond that of a friendship that is relatively new.

I quite honestly don't know what to do... I appreciate that my wife and mum have not made any ultimatums, strength of character on their parts... but I also understand their concern.

By the same token, I don't want to desert someone who is clearly unstable and is dealing with multiple abandonment issues.

I hope none of the above is contrite or seems self serving... I've written it as I see it and genuinely want to try and work this out to the best possible conclusion (be it continued friendship or gentle separation).

I'm visiting her in hospital tomorrow after receiving a knee jerk text I got tonight as I hadn't been in touch for a few days (I do lock down and go quiet at time with everyone around me... I think because of the ASD), essentially saying she had been self harming and stopped from an sui attempt by police while given un-escorted leave from the ward and that she couldn't handle the fact I wasn't talking to her. Had a long chat on the phone and I think she was calmer by the end of it... but yeah, I'm acknowledging that I don't think this is healthy for either of us.