Quote:
Originally Posted by WhatDayIsItAgain
My left leg is smaller from atophy from injury from a car crash. I recently was injured on the right knee and sholder (crime) so my right leg is swollen now. Now I am very lopsided in size on my thighs and calves. I hide this from others and I am ashamed of how I look... so we are having very similar reactions to very different situations. I can share what is wrong online because the snide remarks and cruel laughter from real life does not happen here.
Thanks for this post because I would not have been brave enough to admit I share those feelings without your honest leadership happening first. I try to concentrate on the positive self talk "Beauty comes from within" or "kindness is the real beauty" but when I wear shorts I find shame, vulunernbility and ugliness in the mirror. It is not my facial wrinkles or grey hair that bothers me it is my crooked unmatched legs that make me feel bad about myself. Both little or both fat is ok; one little and one fat is just not... normal. I wear pants or long skirts and I still worry others can see "what" is wrong with me anyway.  |
I wanted to share something with you. I am having a terrible day, but maybe I can brighten yours.
My best friend for many years who became the only one I have ever been truly in love with is a wonderful, caring, beautiful, and brilliant woman, who happened to not have the proper oxygen when she was born. Her twin brother was delivered first and has a pretty mild case of cerebral palsy. She wasn't so lucky. The right limbs of her body are contracted and atrophied. She limps and goes through life pretty much one handed. And I never gave a thought to it. I loved her so much. I loved her and her body is a part of her.
The only thing that ever upset me was how painful cerebral palsy is. I didn't like seeing her in pain from the intense spasms in her muscles.
We never became a romantic couple and eventually we drifted apart. I still automatically smile when I think of her beautiful self. I wonder now how much she thought about her two cp limbs when I barely noticed them