Quote:
Originally Posted by skysblue
Feeling so lonely and the only person I can talk about this with is my T. I know she can't be my friend and to be honest I wouldn't want to change our relationship to a friendship, but she's the only one who seems interested in knowing who I am and what I feel and think.
I once had a friend whom I thought was interested in knowing me and me knowing her but that ended. And so I'm left with just my T - 50 minutes per week unless she's off which she will be for the next 2 weeks.
I'm not in crisis - just feeling very very lonely and I fear I may slip back into a depression that I suffered from a couple of years ago.
I'll be seeing my 'friend', my T on Wednesday and maybe the connection I'll experience with her then will help assuage my loneliness for awhile.
I've worked very hard to make new friends and I do have a lot of people I interact with - I volunteer a lot for non-profit organizations - but a deep friendship in which one shares one's deepest feelings with each other has not shown up in my life. (just once and that's over)
5 years I've been seeing her and I suspect she knows me better than I know myself. Being 'seen' is powerful and therapeutic. I'm pretty much invisible everywhere else.
Does anyone else feel that their T is their only 'friend'?
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Yes I really feel that and can resonate with what you wrote so much
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I know I am really lonely when I start to think about t too much, I yearn for her company. I know she can only be my t but I want more from her sometimes. Sometimes I am so lonely it hurts. I realised I have always felt like this but what made me realise it was having somebody close and then them leaving too. The pain was unbearable, having a t eased that pain but it also hurt because I know I am close to t but I am not really it's a torturous relationship and sometimes it cruelly reminds me of what I don't have. A friend to share my happiness and also my sadness.
This is a worry of mine too that I will slip back into a depression but I have managed to internalise t and be the good enough t to myself in those times of need. How do you treat yourself when you are lonely? Could you be a good friend to yourself and really see yourself as the lovely person you are who deserves to be seen and to have friends?
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