Hi Dexter,
You are entitled to feel the way you feel. My hopes are with you.
I hope the new medication helps you. I do not know if I can help you in any way. I have some "no longer" and "never again" because of a physical disability I acquired long time ago. I know for sure that probably I will never be able ---- [fill the blank] (again)
It could be quite depressing sometimes.
One thing that sometimes helps me is focusing on the present moment. Because, all in all, when I think "I will never ..." I am thinking of the future. But future never "is". What it is, it is in the present. What I say it may sound stupid but sometimes it works. It is kind of discipline. i have to have self discipline in order not to engage in the "routine" of focusing on the future in a way it is harmful. It is not easy because I am impulsive and mostly driven by feelings. But I am improving little by little with ups and downs.
Hope this is helpful. I am sending you a hug