Hi all!

I'm new to this site/health forums in general. I'm 22 and an education major. I generally have a fair outlook on life and a great family/support system. Go back 22 years, I was born 3 months early, drug addicted, bleeding on the brain and a few other health problems. Despite all the health issues I had at birth, on the outside I look healthy. I was adopted at 5 and i'm so lucky to have the family I do. But on the inside, I feel like no one knows truly what is going on with me and honestly, I don't either.
I've always been very nervous about stuff happening and I do not do well with change, even simple things. Example: Moving the Christmas tree to the new part of the house. But that's not why I am here.

4 years ago after I graduated High School, I moved back to my hometown with my parents where all the rest of my family lived. I was glad I was near family but I was nervous about starting college and not knowing anyone my age, which I get anyone can feel that way. I guess that's when I started to not feel like me. I have goals and dreams in life and I can see them all happening in the next 4-10 years. Im very excited about what I could do but I can't seem to move forward without me messing it up. I don't have a job, I babysit because I love kids and its people that I know like me so I don't have the constant fear of letting them down. I know how to take care of kids. Its what I do best. I worked at Lenscrafters for 4 months and I did great but I was only a temp hire and I wasn't called back. Thats the only "official" job I've had. I can't seem to get past the job interview without having a panic attack. I want a job, I liked working and seeing my coworkers every day. But I also don't want to get fired and let people down. If I do though I know its not the end of the world. In high school I was good at getting away with studying to the minimum and now that i'm in college it obviously doesn't work that way. Last fall I started getting tired and falling asleep uncontrollably which has never happened before. I was emotional and highly sensitive (more so than I am in general.) We went to the dr and they thought it was a thyroid or cortisol problem and all came back negative. That is still a work in progress because I still have a few of those problems. I also decided that I couldnt handle my anxiety/depression anymore and I didn't want to stay stuck. I tried the first medication and suddenly I was becoming extremely defensive and angry. Even at stuff I knew I had no reason to be angry at. then I switched and I feel like my new medication is helping somewhat.

In December 2015 I went through a few weeks where I couldnt find words or didn't understand what people were saying. It worried my mom so much that she wanted me to have an MRI but I didn't go. My problem now is college and general every day life. I am going to university this fall and its my dream i'm so excited and I'm working hard in my classes. I have one class though that has given me a crazy hard time and honestly i'll probably have to retake it. My mom says 'I'm self sabotaging' which I don't understand why I would do it. I don't want to feel like a failure. I don't want to have a crying panic attack. I can't seem to process what I'm reading, I even tried the little read a paragraph get a pretzel as a treat. Due to being born early with my some problems I technically fall under a spectrum of health problems (I think i.e autistic or ADD) but i've never been tested because my mom didn't want to put that into my mind because knowing me at a young age I would have ran with it and used it as a crutch my whole life. My mom also says things occasionally like: you have medicine there's no reason for you to 'be depressed!' Which I think she's right because as I said before I don't have a bad life at all. I just don't know what to do. i've been to my school counselor a few times last fall and the whole time I was there I just felt like I didn't have enough problems to really be there and taking up her time. I have never felt suicidal but I just don't want to leave my bed some times. I just want to lay in bed because it's easier. I don't want to be a failure but I can't help but feel like i am sometimes and that they picked the wrong kid to adopt.

to sum this up my current problems are:
sleeping too much/feeling like not enough sleep
anxiety
depression
sensitivity to criticism
general sensitivity
hot flashes
crying
not being able to study even though I want to do well
can't concentrate
migraines
scared of negative comments

I'm sorry if there are typos, I just needed to type this and get it off my chest.