Hello, kiddo.

What comes to mind when I read your post is that what you describe sounds a lot like bi-polar disorder.

(I am familiar with bi-polar because my daugher has this disorder)

You might want to look up and read about bi-polar and see if your symptoms and experiences fit/relate.

I wish you well. Be kind to yourself. Keep advocating for yourself. Things will start to get better once you have a completely accurate diagnosis along with a corresponding plan of treatment.

Take care. Hugs.