its easy to feel like its our fault... but depression isn't your fault
its a condition that some of us have to unfortunately go through...
i have talked with people that have gotten better though, it CAN happen you know?
we just can't give up, we just have to try to do what we can, do the things we used to enjoy since the depression has stolen all of that away... but still try to do them ya know?
the depression is just trying take everything... gotta fight at it and dont let it take it from us

im not trying to make it sound easy because i know how it is... i tell myself these same things, but i get mad at myself and curse myself out too, we get weak... but we can get strong again... we have good days but we will have bad days too (maybe more bad than good...)

i think you do not give yourself enough credit for the things that you have accomplished

you are good at your job, you work hard, you do well with the colleagues... they like you even right?
thats all good things... we have to think of the good things, try to tell the bad things they can't win and replace a bad thought with a good thought... or try to when you can...

i know it sucks... i hate sitting here and sound like im "preaching"...
just want you to feel better

maybe try doing something new, something you haven't done before... something exhilarating ?

have you asked your colleagues to hang out after work?