Quote:
Originally Posted by _Mouse
'Friends' could never be that which I wanted them to be because A/my needs were to big. B/ I was drawn to those unable to care - trauma repetition - T being my friend? No but she's cared and understood so I don't need friends in the way I once did. T is that one secure base in which allows me to dive into life from. But what I needed badly, I get from T. She doesn't have to be a fruend to do that. Infact it's better she's not.
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Mouse, I hear you. For me, I don't think my needs are too big. I haven't experienced trauma. Just normal life challenges which have caused some upheaval. I don't feel 'needy'. I just want a pal or two with whom i can share the mundane along with the extraordinary. Who can I talk to when I experience a joyous moment? Who can I tell when I feel disappointed or sad or stressed? No one. Just my T.
I do agree that it's better my T is not my friend. I don't want that from her. Seeing her the short amount of time I do each week seems to be enough to offer me enough connection to keep going.
Still, I'd like someone in my life with whom I could play, laugh, skip, dance and have a grand time while being there for them while they're there for me.
Maybe I'm looking for a romantic partner but that's not really what I want. Going down that road is way too complicated and painful. I've been burned and i don't want a repetition of that.