I'm having many internal battles over what I believe anymore & im trying to understand how this effects my kids.
The person I was when I was a kid was different then the person I was in my 20's. My values changed. When I was in my 30's I thought I had my core beliefs & values. Things I understood & believed.

Now I'm in my 40's & I have no idea what I value or what my core beliefs are so how can I teach my children? I feel like a hypocrite!

I've raised my 3 children in my faith. My oldest is 11 & youngest 5. Now I feel that I do not wanto teach them this faith. I've changed myself. In many areas too. So I feel like my youngest is getting "ripped off" a bit in what he should know compared to the oldest who might have a better understanding.
This has happened in different areas & im really torn over how to be a parent when I'm still growing & learning myself. Basically if I don't know who I am, how can I teach my kids what to value. I feel like a freakin mess & some have told me "oh ur just having a mid life crisis" but do those go on for 4-5yrs?

I don't know who I am. I don't know my purpose. I don't know what I value in this life & I contradict everything.
I feel like I have no business trying to be a parent when I haven't even grown up myself.

Does this make any sense to anyone?

Thanks
PS. Yes I've tried to talk to my husband about this. No success. He's busy & doesn't like deep conversation. I highly doubt we'll stay together