i totally get it

i know i post alot of stuff trying to be positive and all... sometimes i end up posting some sad things and talking about some things too..
but i do get it, i try to use my advice as well.. but you know, it makes me so mad sometimes i feel much the same, but i will argue with myself... that probably makes it worse, but i just want to feel better so i try to give myself this advice too - but you know how it is telling a depressed person to cheer up? try to do something productive? i am soo mean to myself sometimes, but i have some good days sometimes.. its a battle ya know? but the enemy is evasive :/ and many of my attacks miss! and even though i curse atmyself sometimes when i try to cheer myself up i just try to be gentle too... but i feel really crazy sometimes :/
so yeh... it really sucks, but i think we have to try to coach ourselves for better or worse ?
need some cheerleaders