Hi All,
I am new to PsychCentral. I have been diagnosed with biopolar II, but have really only had 3 episodes (lasting only a few months and relatively mild in nature) of manic/depression in my life, one being recently. In the non-episodic times of my life (decades), I manage and am treated for depression/anxiety...usually with something like a low dosage of Lexapro and/or Xanax...sometimes (years sometimes) I do not need any meds.

However, after probably the most stressful indecent I have experienced in my life, I had a self-identified manic episode, and I went to a psychiatrist for help. At this time I am taking Depakote, Lexapro, Ritalin ER and Xanax. I was taking Lamictal, which I have taken in the past and responded well, but was taken off. I tolerate lexapro well, so I do not think there is any issue there. I am suffering from panic attacks on and off, so therefore, the Xanax. And due to the stress and fatigue, I am unable to function at work (or really during the day) without the Ritalin. But, something is just not right. We have upped and downed the doses, tried different ADHD and anxiety meds, etc. Something in my gut is telling me that the depakote is actually what is making me feel so bad. I can only get through 1/2 of a day before I start to become extremely fatigued...I feel "pulled down" all of the time. I feel like I may not need so much Ritalin if it weren't for the Depakote....it seems like a cycle...but I feel like it is starting with the depakote. I feel like I am battling it every day...and i can't see how my quality of life is better now than when i was manic. I live in fear of fatigue or panic. I am wondering why my doctor is so adamant about depakote rather than maybe just lamictal (which again, he took me off of). Anyone else have a sneaky suspicion that depakote is just making things bad?