im so confused about how things work in this world .an my T confuses me even more at times . i tried to be so calm and have a rational conversation with her . i think i did ok but she still cant see what i see . we talked a lot about what went on at the scrapbook store i teach and hang out at . i did actually go and talk to the store owner . she is suppose to be my friend . she sent me bunches of texts asking me to not stop coming to the store etc.. and how wrong the other person was etc... but to me it made no difference to me all i saw was her making excuses for the other persons behavior . in reality i wanted the store owner ,my friend to stand up for me to tell her it isnt ok for her to do what she did. my T and i talked about how all my life people had to know what was happening to me and for some reason did nothing . she keeps talking about how it is all about what the mother did to me . but it isnt and im trying to get her to see that . it isnt the mother it is everyone around her. these people had to know what was going on and did nothing . and she wonders why i hate people . my T says that someone who has traumatized like i was (again hate that word) tends to react and can get triggered when some one else is acting out of control. i just wanted it to be different this time . i wanted some one to care about what happened to me . not the person who is acting out or abusing me . the world seems so backwards . my T says that we need to talk about what the mother did and figure out together what happened. that thought terrifies me completely