Quote:
Originally Posted by My kids are cool
Your feelings make total sense to me, Granite. One of the things I have been working on in my own therapy is my desperate desire for things to be different NOW. I know what my mother did was crappy. But I desperately want the people in my life now to have my back, be willing to stick up for me, be willing to defend me when I am being unfairly attacked or treated badly. My T thinks that focusing on the source of the desperation behind that wish for someone to be on my side: i.e. how badly everyone in my life as a child failed me, we will somehow drain some of the intensity of that desire away. So far that has been completely unsuccessful. My guess is that your T has a similar theory.
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i often think that i must be completely insane and it is completely wrong how i feel about all of it . its like i have two choices either the world is just all messed up and not to be trusted . people are selfish and care nothing about others . out for themselves. or.... i am just a horrible person . i bring out the worst in people being who i am .that im completely selfish and unrealistic in my expectations of other people. i know my T wants me to try and see a middle ground here but i cant seem to .i think someone is a friend and find out differently,i get hurt . and the world falls apart . i dont think i could ever forgive people in my life as a child for not doing anything to help me . i know it flows into my life now but why does it seem to be ok to just be a horrible person treat people horrible and it is accepted . i see it here a lot . it seems to me the more horrible a person is to others the more people flock around that person trying to helpand just accepts that behavior . it seems like this inreal life also