I emailed T my comments about the session last night and she emailed back that she thought it was a good session too. She said that by the end she could feel me being calm and present and there with her. It was validating and nice to hear that. I was kind of proud of myself because I stayed present and therefore could take in her feelings towards me. I saw that she wasn't repulsed by the sexual stuff I was saying even though I was.

I also feel I can Google her daughter and her without feeling guilty. Knowing that may even take away the urge to do it. I always researched people who were unavailable to me, who I had a crush on, in my past. I collected information on them, which wasn't easy because there was no internet. Then I did it with all my Ts, trying to find out more about them. My current T is taking away the mystery. She's also getting to my core issues again--feeling ashamed and not having a good sense of Self. I am hopeful that I can work through these issues on a deeper level than ever before.