What if being respectful and contained IS a person's natural personality? You seem to assume that cannot be a person's true nature, but many people are just calmer, quieter, more peaceful, more introspective, etc. by nature. That doesn't mean they are suppressing their emotions necessarily. Where is it written that the only "real" emotions are the ones outwardly expressed? People can be very in touch with their emotions and just not be the type to have their emotions hanging out for everyone else to see and deal with; they prefer to experience their in a more personal, introspective way.