Hallo,
is ti true that capacity of love that we got from our parents is equal to the capacity of love we are able to give our children?
For a while, I'm avoiding my father cause I have a deep feeling that when we meet, and in general in past, that he takes more emotional energy from me than he gives. He drains me. My sister more.
He is a child of an alcoholic and he was always bleeding emotionally, constantly with a corner of his eye was watching if we are paying our attention to him.
He always needed a parent he never had, and not children. That is not so good plan with such a low energy.
For example, I've noticed that I have a fear to have a children. My sister has no patience towards children, has no plan to have one and she is almost 40. My father still drains her and emotionally manipulates her cause of his fear of abandonment. I am few months out of my parents house and my batteries are filling, no one is draining my attention, no one needs desperately to be fixed - his childhood issues and deep emotional hole from childhood.

Now, I would do anything to fill my own hole, cause it causes fear of having children and making the same mistake - needing to meet parents (my) emotional needs instead of children needs.

Any thoughts on this emotional capacity? How to fix that?