that is exactly how i feel . that there is just something fundamentally wrong with me and always has been . right or wrong i feel this strongly . i dont understand how so many people could ignore so much . i even directly told a teacher one time . one morning before school the mother was chocking me for some reason . this of course left scratches and big bruises on my neck . the teacher asked me what happened i told me my mother did it and she just ignored it completely . it just seemed to be so common place that a mother would be chocking her kid before school . i took it as it was not all that big of a deal . this seemed to be the reaction most all people in my life had