You said it, You don't have any real tangible control over your emotions. (unless of course you are taking medication into account)

You can fool yourself into thinking you do, but in the end, you're controlled by the things that surround you and how your brain decides to interpret them.

I wake up most days feeling miserable, I can't simply will myself out of it because that would be lying to myself, and i'm not capable of lying to myself about how i'm feeling.

Some days I wake up feeling a little better, no reason, i couldn't tell you one if I tried, it's just a random spinning wheel of miserable days and once every blue moon i get a day that isn't quite as miserable.

I've tried to explain it to many people many times, and they never seem to get it, as if there should be some sort of pattern in my emotions, something that i can somehow harness and nurture so I can feel happier for longer.

My personal thoughts on the matter, Those not so miserable days, that's the last part of me that wants improvement, that actually WANTS to change, because quite frankly the rest of me has given up. and I think it's rather telling that the not so miserable days are becoming more and more spread apart as time goes on like this.

It affects me and my friends, when I'm miserable, I make them uncomfortable.
I don't want that, but honestly, I'm not sure how to escape it.