No, I am not a professional in any shape or form, although I took plenty of psychology at uni and professors, some of them therapists themselves, explained the thinking behind different attitudes used for different types of disorders. Your experience reminded me a lot how "we" (if choosing that path) were supposed to treat patients with BPD.

The "logic" running that method was about this: The BPDer will always try to manipulate you, therefore you have to turn your feelings off. The BPDer will try to provoke you to feel something as a mean of taking control from you. Nothing a BPDer makes you feel is valid, it is a part of reactions they want out of you.

The BPDer cannot for one moment be allowed to believe she is special, that is it is just assumed you come to your appts and basically obey. The roles are strict, you are the patient, she is the therapist, she can do things you are not allowed to do because if you did them it is a sign of illness. All signs of illness should be ignored.

Since you are already meant to be subdued, you are supposed to trust this person blindly while she will never trust you, because BPDers cannot be trusted.

---

Sounds weird? It was how psych school was in the 90s. That stuff should not be out there anymore but I know for a fact some therapists never left their old ways.

I hope I am wrong and that your therapist does not have this schooling and has a heart somewhere.

I also understand the very limited therapy options you have. Sweden is not a good country for mental health care unfortunately.