You probably remember that I've posted recently about driving by my T's house in the past. I think I posted in your thread the first time. I totally understand and empathize with your urge to see your T's house because I have similar feelings. I don't know how your T will react, but I'll repeat again what happened when I told my T. She didn't make me stop seeing her.

First, I don't think you are bad and I don't think it's bad to do it. Bad isn't the right word. I think it's important to understand why you did it, and for that you may need to discuss it with your T. My T's house was in a neighborhood out of my way, too, and on a cul-de-sac. I felt so guilty doing it but I couldn't stop myself once I had the directions. She is not so private; her home address was readily available online.

I think I did it because I wanted to know where she was when not in the office. I drove past my other T's homes too, and was glad when 2 of them had home offices, so I didn't have to worry about it. I guess to feel closer to her too, probably the same reasons as you. I felt guilty until I confessed to my T.

She wasn't too happy about it, and tried to explain why. I didn't ask permission, and she felt I did it sneakily. She tries to keep her home and work life separate, she said. But she had no intention of terminating me; she wanted to help me understand why she was upset and why I did it. She even said that had I asked permission, maybe she would let me see her house, or more likely, she'd show me a photo of it if I asked.

I felt bad about what I did, and was glad I told her. I didn't drive past that house again. However, when she divorced, I googled her and found that she moved. When she was out-of-town, I drove past that house too. I just had to see where she lived now, just once. I wasn't going to tell her, but I felt guilty, and couldn't hold back from telling her. I'm not sure if she repeated the same things as the last time, or told me that "You are not understanding that I have feelings about this". I know she didn't like it and was maybe frustrated that I didn't understand what was so wrong about it. I still don't totally get it, but I know I won't do it again since I can't stand hurting my T. If she moves again, I'll ask her for a photo!

I believe that you don't want to stalk your T, and don't want to hurt her. I don't want to stalk mine either. It's a compulsion, and maybe my googling and looking up information about people, stems from the same need. Need to know everything about someone we care about, but who is unavailable, like a T. Need to feel safe, knowing where they are. Feeling close to them. I truly get where you're coming from.

The only way to stop feeling guilty is to tell your T unless you think she is not going to be understanding. I see it as an issue like any other issue I need help with. How is your T going to help you if you don't tell her what's wrong? But you have to be prepared to stop doing it if your T disapproves. If you honestly want to stop feeling guilty, that's what I think you should do. Tell her, discuss it, and find alternatives so you won't do it again (unless she doesn't care)! I hope I've helped you. If you want to PM me, please do.