why would i forget so much though... its all blank

im 26 years old and i cant remember anything...
is it possible to get stuck in dp/dr state...?

shouldnt i have good memories...?
or plain memories..?
boring..?
something...

i feel so bad anyway i just feel like... jump in the cold water head first... then hopefully T or someone throw mea life preserver... ill survive... maybe hurt and bleeding and lungs full of icy water... but whatever... i want my memory back...