Hi Crook, depression is real. It affects how we normally would feel and think. It makes us say things we regret later but it has a mind of its own. And if we can't get a handle on it it presents SI to us. Don't feel guilty for how you felt or what you said. You verbalized the disease. The questions are a guideline to see how much more medication or T time you need. Be patient and work on the issues your dr. tells you to do. I suffered with depression for a very long time. I understand it well. Depression feeds off of guilt so don't give in to guilty feelings. Just think good things and see yourself as going through a guided transition to getting healthier right now... (((hugs))) it will get better, tc