I think what he told you after his hurtful comments must be the truth. Everyone can lose control. In some situations we are a lot better at it than most (obviously not all situations).

I think that not admitting mistakes can be a sign that he really is very sorry and very anxious about his earlier behaviour. Just like admitting mistakes after mania can be too painful just when thinking about it. If he were to readily admit his mistakes and tell you he'd never do it again, I would be more worried.

But I hope you can talk about his behaviour frankly and freely: how to not let thinks erupt, saying things more for effect than truth.



Edit:
Realise it's men we're talking about. Most have problems with normal emotions, just as we might have with more extreme, more longlasting emotional states.