Yes, I don't want to fall into the 'horoscope' mentality: if I read too much into it, any Dx would fit.

Which is why I gave this N. way too many opportunities to express REALITY. Cut him way more slack than I am used to (repeatedly canceling meetings, the pasive-agressive non communication, the incessant braging about himself). These things would have been instant warnings to me - but I guess I chose to not believe what was happening because this was such an old friend from long ago who worked next to me for 6 years. I wanted someone who KNEW ME, AND had all the qualities that he advertised.

In retrospect, I'm glad I insisted on clarifying his feelings, my feelings and a need for reality and not vagueness and double-speak. I think it gave him the signals that I wasn't about to be a victim or walk down a path that didn't exist. That I would NOT roll over and sacrifice my 'self'.

So my plan is to confirm NPD: I figure if the NS (narcissistic supply) stops, he will dissappear. So the last phonecall I got from him, I didn't praise, didn't dote, didn't support... I was competely friendly and upbeat... and used some of his own double-speak to indicate that "people may be trying to USE him, that he was ordinary and not unique, and that I would be very stupid if I were an enabler of others bad choices".

I think he will just go away, proving that no friendship was desired and that this was just another conquest for him.

My question to you all: do I have STUPID written on my forehead? How do I project an air of self-confidence to prevent these types from wooing me?? Or is there anything I can do to sift these loosers out of the mix - without becoming a cynnical &(#@# ?

Thanks for the comments!
Anne