It really is more of a repulsive feeling, it is hard to explain. If not for having to go get my masters advisor to sign something recently, it would have been nearly 5 years since I have had a real conversation with someone outside my family or my doctors. I try not to tell my pdoc too much. I keep answers short and on point. The last time I was fully open with a pdoc I ended up committed for a week.

I do tend to overshare with my family.

I get texts and emails all the time from people I went to school with, inviting me out, or to some technical meeting or conference. I never respond. Thinking about responding doesn't make me nervous or uncomfortable. It makes me sick. If I do go to a conference, it is one that no one invited me to. I just hide in the back row and slip out right when it is over. I do need to do things to keep my skills and knowledge up in the unlikely event I become employable.