yeah,,, i feel that way alot too... i've also noticed alot of others here also feel that way from time to time...

you arent faking it, you're genuinely hurt...
to me its no different than chronic pain sufferer...
we feel shame... they feel shame too... they wish they could be better and do the things they once did... and we too... they are disabled... and we too...
only difference is... if you take a handful of painpills... the pain can subside maybe a bit... but take a handfull of antidepressants and antipsychotics... and you end up in the hospital for a while...

sorry about last night... i was out of my mind again hehe :/
im really starting to feel crazy insane, do you deal with that too..?
its scary i think all of my comorbidities are just pushing me over the edge though.. so if i ever act weird or say something off dont pay any attention..
guess just have to keep on swimming though...