Sorry possible health trigger here.

Good news: My chest x-ray came back, it shows I'm clear of the recent pneumonia.

Bad news: there's a spot and now I have to have a CT Scan to check it out.

I'm really not that worried that it might be something. Seems at my age it might 50% be something bad however given the recent pneumonia I think it is likely that those odds are reduced and it is more likely just some scarring from the bacterial infection. I was hacking unbelievably badly with the pneumonia.

I'm really just too tired to deal with this... I'm still worried about my heart and I'm seeing my cardiologist next week and now I also have to go and get a catscan. I've been missing a lot of work from the depression itself not counting leaving for therapy sessions and now another day off for a catscan.

The worst part is because of the depression I can't help think I will be disappointed if it turns out to be nothing. I'm am anticipating the cardiologist to say my heart is OK and something else is behind my symptoms or that they are temporary but when the symptoms crop up every time I hope that it is my time and that I will have an out other than suicide.