Been so depressed the last few days.

It started when in the other site (will always be nameless) there was a main thread then a sub-thread writing a new definetion of said diagnosis of a certian disorder (not BPD) thats more simple and "better" or more than the DSM 5, for an acticle the owner of the site is writing and I think he wants to propose the amend the DSM (though never heard of that, the owner isnt a professional or a Dr like Doc John) but anyway it required us to piece our trauma out, catigorize it to pass it through the "diagnosis" as it was being re-worded and that night I had a nightmare about one piece of my trauma, unsure about triggering so will put that in the trigger code:



...and wet the bed for the first time as an adult. I used to as a younger teenager sometimes but never has an adult. My step mom (dad & step mom live with me) saw and laughed at me!

Im so embarrased and Ive been depressed ever since. And I think piecing out and catigorizing my trauma like that was re-traumatizing (and my therapist said unnecessary as my trauma as a whole resulted in my diagnosis of all 3 disorders and he has like no chance of changing the DSM) and then i thought I was understanding said disorder until one phrase went under heavy discussion and I got re-confused of said disorder and also orginally thought I was helping and contributing and I then started to get told that I was off-topic when I was answering what he asked for and saying that im doing something wrong or bad is a huge trigger for me so I went straight to being suicidal. Im not now but was the first day. But still very depressed.

My therapist said that me going back to my trauma and being under stress in waking hours (sort of re-living it all, not just the dream, in my head) is what caused the bed wetting.

But im still so embarrased, feel like a piece of crap and my step mom laughing at me I think is a big part of that!