Wow.

TJ, I've been reading along & feeling a bit anxious for you....but have said nothing till now. Agree w/what's already been said, but also:

She sounds pretty dang unstable. And really, is this something you need, want, or should be exposing yourself much to atm?

My instinct is "no". Make it about your own wellness, TJ -- bc obvs you've already identified this person as non-supportive and draining. And not a good idea.

Best of luck. I am in awe of your determination to talk to her in person instead of just quietly fading off into the distance. Brrrr,,,scares me to think of it, lol

Be strong for yourself.
Best,
Chyia