It seems its my only friend right now.
with these new meds Leponex (ap) i stay and would like to stay all the time in bed in a semi consciousl state level. where nothing matters.
every now and then my brain gets active and thinks im a total failure and should get up and do something about it. i force myself to sit on the bed and then decide its too much and fall back again.
i still get to get up to eat, wash and go to some sort of job, but i do nothing else, ever.
oh well. there's therapy too but i dont feel its helping at all and i feel so guilty for my parents paying therapy, because io still live with them, have no friends, no much money, nothing. just my bed...

please, shout at me, say im stupid pathetic and a total failure. maybe it will work. i cant go on like this.