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Ok, let me make one thing clear which I might have understated: cigarettes are not ideal for pulmonary and cardiovascular reasons. Nicotine is very toxic in above-normal quantity: it can shut down your heart, endocrine system and immune system, so everything that keeps you alive. Don't start smoking (again) if you don't do so now. Maybe best not to use any nicotine if you quit smoking.
I would still just enjoy the occasional cigarette (or more, maybe cigars), in your case.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me.
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