Why are you running away? In order to grow up and come together as a whole adult person you must take responsibility for your posts. Its like the little kid who dumps the milk and tells his mom, "the dog did it." This is your life here. Is this where you want to spend it? Isnt it better to face the mirror and figure out what exactly going on? There is hope as long as you are honest with yourself. Life is messy and maybe mundane at times but it is real and having a real life is what you should want. Not cray cray.