((GERBER))). I am sorry that you are struggling at this time. There should be a hotline number to call in your area when you just need to talk to someone. There are many support groups in many states and countries you can attend such as NAMI and DBSA in most major States. Having a crisis plan helps as well as someone to contact to talk to or get you out of the house when you are feeling suicidal. Feeling suicidal is just as important in getting the help you need as wanting to committ suicide. It is very important not to be alone when you are feeling suicidal because that is sometimes when you need the help and understanding the most because everything becomes so confusing at that time, and you need comforting to get through the confusion and isolation. If you do not have a crisis plan it can be made simply by making a list of things to do when you feel alone, depressed, or when you feel suicidal so that you can use in when you in a crisis to help keep yourself safe. Take care (((GERBER))). soidhonia