Please hang in Dreamrunner. I get what you're saying and feeling. When I'm in that place and people tell me that I will come out the other end, I think to myself - yup, I'll come out the other end then nose dive again. It's a crappy way to have to live hon but remember some of the good experiences you've had and can have again when you're not so depressed. I'm pulling for ya. With thoughts and many blessings, Etheria