But I am willing to try again.
(Warning, might contain some humour and sarcasm against myself, therefore might be upsetting for some people.)
Sooo I am huge on designer drugs and mixing them with alcohol. Seriously, that's what I am known of! Like people would actually call me up to get me to test ****, not proud that I am giving my life away, but it's free, almost safe (not really) and most of the times I have, had, fun. Well yeah but my drug dealer, also my best friend (what a convenience ain't it?) told me in the beginning of the week (known to most as Monday) that "If you continue living like this I will start digging your grave" and stopped everything. Well I was fine.. for the first 1 hour and then I realized that I basically lost the only happy thing in my life.. and I went though a lecture about drugs and well that thought me that well abstinence will be a bigger ***** then my ex. So I went through the week (I would usually drink 5 pills each day, every day) without ANY drugs (except my vitamins and towards the end of the week some kind of an anti-depressant that helps with whatever to .. yeah.. you get me! I didn't but them to feed on but to stop.. I am loosing my words..) and well a little nit of myself died. A huge chunk of myself died. I couldn't sleep, I was exhausted, I started my period early, I am being a ***** to like everyone, and each time I move my head it hurts to a point where everything goes blurry (and that is a huge **** ton of pain). And right now as I am writing this.. I broke the 5 days. I surely am not proud of myself but I am happy so yay for me!
All jokes and failures aside. I would definitely do this again. I would go through this ****** pain just so I can get better. So to anyone who really doesn't want to go through abstinence, like I did, it's worth it. It is very much worth it. I'm definitely not proud of what I did with my life. Hell I hate myself for doing so, especially at such young age. I've always said that you can intake whatever you want, it's your life, live freely, be yourself. But I took it to the point where if I walk into the hospital they would know it would be for :suicide attempt, drug abuse, alcohol abuse. They know my name and everything by now xD
So once again: You can ****ing do it!