I, too, married someone that I wasn't sure I loved 17 years ago. He "swept me off my feet." He talked about marrieage on our 3rd day. We were engaged 4 months after that and married within our first year of meeting each other. He seemed like the perfect "catch." He had a law degree, had his own business, came from a "good" family, was good looking. My family was "proud" that I was marrying an attorney and didn't question why he was rushing me to the alter. On my wedding day, I looked at myself in the mirror and thought I looked like the cat who swallowed the canary. But then I asked myself, if he were to get killed or die tomorrow, how would I feel. You want to know what I answered? Nothing, I would feel nothing. But, alas, it was too late. I got so caught up in planning the wedding I didn't think too much about our relationship. Things went okay for a while, but then gradually downhill. He is an alcoholic, he blows money on everything, he has a temper, calls me names in front of the kids, says I'm worthless because I don't have a fulltime job. He's completely changed. I cannot stand him. I stay for the kids' sake. If I were to divorce, they would suffer financially. We really don't have any money.

My point is, if you're not ready, don't do it. Don't worry about the wedding deposits. If you don't have those "feelings" for him now, they'll only get worse. Don't waste your life and bring innocent children in it. Good luck