I have trouble sleeping, my anxiety could be better. I have a lot of trouble focusing or concentrating on one thing in particular. It's like I have to do a million things at once. I isolate myself, but then again I just feel lonely all the time. There is this feeling of disconnect. I can't connect with people. I lose hope in the future. I can't remember the last time I felt pure happiness (although I do feel happy when I am with my mom). Everything feels like too much work. I lack motivation. I've lost pleasure in the things that gave me joy, like drawing or playing my piano. I feel lost in life, like I don't know where to go. I constantly feel sad and detached and numb all at once. I've been feeling like this for over 10 years now, since I was 13.
I am 100% sure that if I did not have my mother I wouldn't be here now. She keeps me going. <3
|