last evening was rough. I went to the grocery store to get Easter candy and was overwhelmed by all the people doing the same thing( darn procrastinators!) I stood there with my heart pounding out of my chest, barely breathing, well you know the routine. I got home and realize that we had a church service to attend for Holy week. I told my husband i didn't think i could do it, but i knew i needed to try. sorry for the rambling backstory, but I'm trying to set the scene. Anyway after a shower i felt a bit better, so was willing to try. my anxiety ramped up again on the way to church( 2minute drive) . So as we walked in and i saw people, i unconsciously hid behind him. the pastor's wife came up, called my name and noted that i was hiding. she asked caringly how i was doing and made it clear she expected an honest answer , not the I'm fine or I'm ok crap i usually dish out. I will admit to being rather touched by her concern. I hate to say this, but at church i usually just feel more broken or screwed up than i already do. I sat in the back row with my husband and just observed things as i usually do. but later another person asked how i was and Sandy happened to walk by and said, " don't let her lie to you, look at her eyes; it's a tough time." I was torn between embarassed and grateful, because i don't have the strength to fake it right now, but the reality is that most people don't want to hear the truth of how we're doing! I think it's sad that i feel my supported here in anonymity of the computer than I do with my 'brothers and sisters" in Christ!