I just wanted to add my perspective to this discussion.

Self-loathing is completely real in my world, and I'm far from narcissistic. I do have BPD (borderline), but I haven't ever felt highly of myself. Nor have I ever wanted to be in the limelight. I have been struggling to get past these dark emotions and thoughts (towards myself) for as long as I can remember. It is exhausting!

Very best wishes sent your way....take care!