My issue is denied closure and I am told my brother shot himself but don't believe it. I want to. My life would be easier to believe it I have tried to believe it but I don't. I want to not suffer for not being certain I want to not question everyday who would be cruel to lie and then who would be cruel enough not to. I want the only thing to matter is that my brother is not in my life and to stop grieving I want to accept the cushion of other possibilities I entertain and stop the dismal ones I'm forced by uncertainty to have to consider