Others can be very harsh in the demands put on others when it comes to politically correct grieving and often hold everyone to some imaginary acceptable protocol and or acceptable vs unacceptable behavior. Huh? Our relationships have unique dynamics that are powerful personal and private. Actions by anyone grieving should be left alone and acknowledged as coping and the business of how is not for anyone else to define or judge. Leave it where it belongs, in the heart where GOD is. Who should play GOD? There is no instruction on proper grief other than what's in your heart. I'd suggest you listen to the source most comforts you and feels right and request your loved ones to listen to their own as well.