Just venting...

It's tough to tell if I'm in an "angry" hypomanic state or if I'm in a mixed state, but either way, I know I'm not stable.

I keep getting angry at everyone and everything. I just snap. For example, this morning, I told my mom to f**k off and I called her a f**king stupid bullsh*tter because she never exchanged one of my Christmas gifts like she said she would. (She bought something online, so there's obviously no gift receipt. She's the only one with information to return it.)

I've been getting 8-9 hours of sleep a night, but I feel energetic and agitated. I'm getting a lot of cleaning done around my room as well, and I've been doing a lot of shopping as of late. Also throw in some reckless driving.

When I snap, I feel bad about it afterwards, but I can't help it. I'm still angry even when I feel bad.

My next T appointment is Monday, 2 days away. Today is the 4th day I've been feeling this way. It's awful because I've never felt like this before, and there's no one in my life to support me. My T is my only support.