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ou don't think she's clueless (or unable to understand) but you do think she's making a decision for my best interests not to enmesh with me?
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Sorry, i couldn't tell you as i have no way of knowing. It's just that in your posts, you refer to feelings and thoughts coming from you, not her, so it's just one possibility of many.
If it is the case, then you'll understand in time. How long have you been working together?