Mine started while I was watching a video on the topic - it was a slow churning in the back of my mind, a weight in my chest that was slowly pushing me outside of my body (dissociation), until it became, "this is relevant to me... this is a thing that happened..." and then the emotions I'd been hiding about it for two years trying to all crowd their way in at the same time. When I "remembered," it wasn't a sudden recollection of a memory I didn't have before, it was the gradual realization that I'd had the memory the entire time, and I was just now allowing myself to remember it. It had been hiding, I had trained myself not to think about it, but it had always been there. It wasn't that the memory itself was recovered, but rather the ability to think about it.
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Once upon a time they called me borderline /
Well, I took that word and made it mine /
Now I'm straddling the border t'ween chaos and order /
Got a foot on each side, hangin' on for the ride
BPD, PTSD, Pure-O OCD
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