its cool... dont be embarassed... i totally get it

i cant be around alot of people... and i dont like being around a lot of kids...
but for example my sisters baby... she will be 1 in may... and i just adore her and love playing with her, she smiles all the time and laughs and is just generally so happy i cant help but like playing with her...
it makes me feel a special something inside of me... especially when she grabs my face and tries to pinch my eyes and bites my nose, its just a few moments that i really enjoy... its just hard to get myself to play with her sometimes because i cant stop crying or look terrible or whatever and i dont want to influence her at all... sometimes im scared that if i spend too much time with her she will catch whatever is wrong with me and i dont want her to have any prroblems any where near wlhat i have...

the youger onces are great... the older they get the more... well i cant handle them too much for too long because they just get crazy and stuff... but the little kids are fun... until they get sleepy and start crying and stuff of course...