I tell myself that I don't know the future. And that's really all of the words of wisdom that I have, sadly.

I have thought the things you have...people would get over it if I wasn't here. They always do. But maybe, even at this stage in my life, the future has something for us that we don't know about.

The worst thing, for me, was lying there at night waiting for sleep. It's so horrible. I now take ambien so at least I cannot think too much. Perhaps that's an option for you.

By seeing a therapist, you have the will to improve. That's huge. Could you volunteer with animals (massive reward, there...nothing makes you smile like a puppy)?