Quote:
Originally Posted by ScientiaOmnisEst
The original post was from a thread (by someone other than the poster I quoted) asking what self-hate is like. "I can understand feeling down about yourself, but actually hating yourself?" was basically the question. Then this person shows up and posts that she doesn't believe actual, non-manipulative self-hate exists, because you need some degree of self-importance to stay alive, plus the other stuff.
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If she doesn't have the self-hate loop, didn't get conditioned to it early in life as Spotnitz hypothesized, then it seems reasonable that she doesn't experience it and can't understand/empathize with it.
Yes, people do need some degree of self-importance to stay alive and that is what Spotnitz hypothesized some people
traded away in order to keep their caregivers happy and taking care of them. That was very important for our survival. At a very pre-verbal, just conditioning kind of level.
Not blaming the caregivers -- they were imperfect, their caregivers were imperfect, etc., etc. It all sucks. (Not just us.)
And then there are the good things. . . not that I know many but still. . .
Just for clarification, what Spotnitz called the "narcissistic defense" didn't mean that the people who had it were narcissistic necessarily. Just that their sense of self didn't function normally (and mine certainly hasn't! Wish it did.)